I Don't Want to Write About . . .

Today I don’t want to write about myself.
I don’t want to write about this blank page, this pen or this hand moving across the page.
I don’t want to write about writing or reading.
I don’t want to write about yesterday or today or tomorrow.
I don’t want to write about religion or politics, my menstrual cycle or lack there of.
I don’t want to write about food or how it grows, how to prepare it or what it tastes like.
I don’t want to write about my ancestors, grandchildren or lack there of.
I don’t want to write about children or stepchildren, husbands or ex-husbands.
I don’t want to write about sex – too much, too little, or just the right amount.
I don’t want to write about licking or caressing or inserting this or that.
I don’t want to write about kissing or the difference between a woman’s mouth and a man’s mouth.
Don’t ask me to write about any of those things today.

Foreplay with God

Foreplay for tasting again the sweaty skin of the Beloved with the grateful lips of my heart—

• listen to Jagyat Singh croon his love to Lord Krishna
• let Psalm 23 wash over me again & again, especially "He restoreth my soul"
• read Hafiz poems until staggering from his potent, God-laden words
• dance in secret, only with Him and the music
• really taste the chocolate
• bare my eyes to the sky, the earth, the ocean, my earthly beloveds
• contemplate the loving heart of Christ until my own heart beats free from the cage of bones and flesh to fly again

On Birth - When Does Labor Begin?

The question of when labor begins is not easy to answer, even though it may sound simple. In observing labor as a phenomenon in itself, I see labor as being a non-discrete occurrence that actually begins with conception & gradually leads to the birth of the baby.
What most people call labor is actually just a special part of the process. It would be as if one said that making love consisted of only the moments of orgasm, when the actual process of making love may have begun even months before with a flirtatious glance, and gradually built up on physical, emotional, & spiritual levels over the whole time, culminating in the physical embraces & orgasm itself. What happens before the orgasm is not necessarily not making love & the orgasm is not necessarily the end or the goal or product of the process. If one makes love & no orgasm occurs it does not mean it was not making love.
Likewise, labor is building up throughout pregnancy. In the latter part of pregnancy there are often several flirtatious episodes of what could lead up to the orgasm of birthing, yet often they subside. Those "signs of impending labor" may come & go several times in the weeks before birthing.
So does the labor start when the impending signs start? In this case many of the women I assist have been in labor for weeks. Before I became more spacious in my definition of the beginning of labor I believed & treated these women as though they were in labor - and often ended up pushing their labors by various means including transporting them to the hospital for exhaustion & "lack of progress".
I believe even the classic definition of labor - there is a progressive change in the effacement, dilation of the cervix & the baby moves lower - is not a sign that the woman is ready to give birth soon. Most midwives who do vaginal exams near term notice that some women become quite dilated in the weeks before they have the baby all the way out - up to 4 centimeters. A woman who is having impending signs, having some mild contractions, goes to the doctor or midwife to get checked will be told that she is in labor. Then the labor of labor begins because when everyone believes she is in labor & she believes she is in labor, that is when it actually begins. And if she was actually still in a flirtatious stage rather than the culminating stage she may be pushed & dragged through labor by breaking her amniotic bag, drugs, & mechanical assistance or c-section.
So I see the definition of the beginning of labor as being very important to how we educate women about labor & how we assist women in the process of giving birth. Currently I teach women to ignore contractions as long as possible, warning them that they may start & stop many times in the last weeks of pregnancy & that's just fine - preparation. This works well for them. We also do not treat women as though they are in labor until they are well established in a strong labor pattern, encouraging them to ignore it until they can't and then spending time alone with their mate in a pleasant environment until they both decide it's time for us to come. We educate them about delivering the baby themselves, discussing it a lot to allow them to feel as comfortable as possible being alone for as much of the labor as possible. This allows for the least interference possible with the natural laboring process and fewer transports for lack of progress.

Save the Children

“for a taste of how she lives try eating your neighbors’ garbage.
Tina eats what other people throw away –
vegetable peelings, an apple core, a moldy piece of bread.
Where she lives, 7 out of 10 children suffer from malnutrition.
Their parents, although they work hard, can’t provide the barest needs…” (magazine ad)

my womb is the size of my fist is the
size of my heart.
my womb could expand with a child if
an egg were incited.
they say there are too many children
& that’s why they’re starving,
too weak for crying.

my womb is the size of my fist is the
size of my heart.
my fist becomes pregnant with anger & ripe
for a revolution when I know it’s
greed that leaves people hungry,
people dying.

my womb is the size of my fist is the
size of my heart.
And my heart grows to bursting with caring
that children are sick because
rich men are not sharing.

-by Terra Rafael

A Menopausal Story

She had been going through the Change. Her body, always a well-known friend, now sometimes left her disappointed. First, more frequent periods left her anemic, her cells slowly dying for lack of oxygen. Then regular cycles became a thing of the past, so she always had to arm herself with tampons. Eventually cycles slowed to rare events, finally never to return.

Meanwhile her skin loosened, her hair grayed and thinned and her middle expanded. She’d never had to worry about weight before but now her size had grown just when she most wanted to hide away, like a shy adolescent.

Her daughter gave her encouragement. “Mom, why don’t you explore your new body, your new options? Who are you now? A butterfly, might be confused because she isn’t a caterpillar anymore. Test your new ways to move in the world, your new ways to nourish yourself. Now you can drink nectar from flowers instead of eating leaves.”

And so she did.
--by Terra Rafael

Nationalized Massage Program

I propose every person get a weekly massage. A national health plan could include subsidies for those who can’t afford the massages and for massage training programs.

Imagine if the President got daily massages. And the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the CIA. Congress, Governors and state Legislators. What about the people at the drivers license bureau and the postal workers? And teachers, nurses, neighbors and police officers? And you and your family and neighbors?

With the health benefits of stress relief and the soothing hormones from being touched, the tone of our society would be quite different.

Yesterday it became evident. After my Thai massage, I had planned some errands. When I got to the herb store I was so relaxed. I noticed my speed was unusual. “I apologize for being slow – I just had a 2 hour massage and now I’m not in a hurry.” The two others in the store each took a deep breath and their muscles seemed to let go in front of my eyes.

How much of our hurry is tension? How much does hurry really help us achieve our goals? How much is our fight or flight in over drive, unable to turn itself off?

When was your last massage? When did you last massage someone else? A more peaceful world is found one massage at a time.