Babies do not usually pop out at once. Expulsion is a gradual process of descending and retreating which allows all involved to mold and stretch for minimum trauma. We let parents know that this is part of the normal flow of labor, not a problem.
Our selves do the same as we are born and reborn in so many ways. We may show our new found qualities to the world, only for them to disappear again for a while. We may despair of ever making it out all the way - and yet the baby will always be born. We need to remind ourselves that relapses are a normal part of personal growth. Each retreat is a chance to relax, reassess, renew and find our way out with more appreciation for the process.
Contemplations--
• How do I react to relapses into old behavior patterns?
• Can I distinguish between choosing to do something in a new context and doing the same thing out of unconscious habit?
• Do relapses into old behavior patterns bring on fear of being trapped in the past?
• Am I willing to see my growth as a process rather than an all or nothing situation?
• Am I willing to promptly admit when I relapse and work with it?
Activities--
* When a relapse occurs affirmations can be a helpful reminder to break the old behavior pattern. Examples
“I can fulfill my needs by conscious choice rather than by habit."
“I’m willing to change."
"I'm beginning to change."
"Relapses are part of the process."
"Life is a spiral - I'm in the same place & a different place at the same time. Now I can choose."
* Pay attention to your thoughts during a relapse & how they may feed self punishment. Write them down. Say them out loud (in privacy or with someone who will not be brutalized by hearing them). Examine them carefully for their truths and untruths.
--by Terra Rafael
excerpt from Giving Birth to Ourselves, contemplations for midwives, 2009
available from lulu.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/giving-birth-to-ourselves-2nd-edition/7233381
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