Sometimes I wonder if I will die soon and that’s why I feel so compelled to write about my life. When my daughter, Alana, was about four years old, she would often ask me if she could have certain of my possessions when I died. This happened often enough that I became suspicious that she had a psychic knowledge that I was soon to die. But 15 years later I’m still here.
When Alana was a baby I wondered if she would die soon. She seemed too perfect, too angelic, to live in this world. These fears came up for me even more strongly after I attended a stillbirth.
Part of my healing from that experience was to go to someone who did past life regressions. She led me into a past life where Alana had been my daughter. It was centuries ago in England, in a small village along the coast. We had settled recently in my husband’s ancestral place and then he had to go away for several long months in his job as a trader. The minister of the town church tried to seduce me. When I rebuffed him, he countered by accusing me of being a witch. Because I loved plants and intimately knew their ways, and also was a newcomer, some of the villagers believed him. Shortly thereafter he died unexpectedly and some of the villagers accused me of poisoning him. It was talked up until, one night they stormed our house. Alana and I fled to the upstairs loft where we were trapped as they set fire to our home with torches. Our spirits flew away together into the night, with the smoke rising from our burning house.
This is why both of use anticipated each others death at times of insecurity – me, after a stillbirth and her, beginning preschool.
No comments:
Post a Comment