A Croning Uterus

This very moment my uterus is shrinking. So slowly to be imperceptible, yet, yes. She is declining in her size. No longer fertile on a physical plane, her energy is becoming more subtle and fluid. The wisewoman nectar that is not lost in blood each month returns, instead, returns to enhance my ability to give birth to myself, be it through words, works of art, planting my garden, cooking for my family, or gentle, peaceful caress.

Sometimes this transformation heats me with its flame. The physical is slowly consumed and the subtle is expanding, billowing. Will it kill me? Will I eventually disappear in this blaze? Of course. Yet what a fire works display I might reveal in the meanwhile.

Create I must and carefully choose it--elsewise that nectar can as equally create a sour and bitter old lady, regretful of the past, depressed in the present and empty of future. Just as I chose to give birth or abort my physical babies I now must take responsibility for this creative power on an even deeper level. Yes, I must continue to choose.

The Monthly Cronehood of the Menstrual Cycle-

The menstrual cycle contains the experiences of Maiden, Mother, & Crone within it. We can experience a mini- Cronehood when our premenstrual hormones plummet in those cycles in which pregnancy doesn’t occur. We empty of juice, being low in estrogen and progesterone, while filling with intuitive potential. These mini-Cronehoods, when fully experienced, can prepare us for the wisewoman, menopausal years and teach us about the power of Knowing.

What are the practices to help us prepare?
-First, be aware. Notice how your body, emotions, and mind react to this premenstrual time. If you are feeling to many symptoms, it is good to work on gently cleansing and supporting your liver. When the hormones are building up in your liver the detoxing that starts to occur premenstrual times can be more harsh---as they can during the menopausal stage as well.

-Take time for yourself. Yes, I know how difficult that can be. But it must be a priority. In this way you can increase your awareness of what is happening in your body and how to care for it. You don’t need to take the whole day off—just give yourself ½ hour a day to be free of responsibility to others. Moms can do this when kids are in bed—mornings &/or evenings.

-Pay extra attention to your inner promptings. It could be your dreams. Or your intuition might be telling you what to do.

-Practice letting go. This time in your cycle is excellent for getting rid of what is no longer living for you.

--Terra Rafael

The Monthly Cronehood of the Menstrual Cycle

Practicing for Menopause during the Fertile Years.

The menstrual cycle contains the experiences of Maiden, Mother, & Crone within it. We can experience a mini- Cronehood when our premenstrual hormones plummet in those cycles in which pregnancy doesn’t occur. We empty of juice, being low in estrogen and progesterone, while filling with intuitive potential. These mini-Cronehoods, when fully experienced, can prepare us for the wisewoman, menopausal years and teach us about the power of Knowing.

What are the practices to help us prepare?

-First, be aware. Notice how your body, emotions, and mind react to this premenstrual time. If you are feeling to many symptoms, it is good to work on gently cleansing and supporting your liver. When the hormones are building up in your liver the detoxing that starts to occur premenstrual times can be more harsh---as they can during the menopausal stage as well.

-Take time for yourself. Yes, I know how difficult that can be. But it must be a priority. In this way you can increase your awareness of what is happening in your body and how to care for it. You don’t need to take the whole day off—just give yourself ½ hour a day to be free of responsibility to others. Moms can do this when kids are in bed—mornings &/or evenings.

-Pay extra attention to your inner promptings. It could be your dreams. or your intuition might be telling you what to do.

-Practice letting go. This time in your cycle is excellent for getting rid of what is no longer living for you. At the same time, value your menstrual cycles-someday they will be gone.

by Terra Rafael

Plagued by "Female Problems?"

The Women’s Movement freed women to participate more fully in the world. But it hasn’t freed women from a secret shackle—“female problems”. Menstrual difficulties and other problems associated with women’s special anatomy and physiology may plague women even more today than in the days of our grandmothers. Our active lifestyles, work stress, eating on the run, and lack of deep relaxation add up to increased probability of PMS, menstrual cramps, irregular cycles, abnormal pap smears, fertility problems, pregnancy complications, and perimenopausal discomforts.

Luckily, we don’t need to turn back the clock or rely only on questionable medications to care for our feminine core. We can soothe it and allow for healthy functioning using lifestyle, diet, massage & herbs. A history & physical evaluation with a holistic practitioner helps map out a plan of action & care to bring the uterus and the whole woman into balance again.

Ayurveda, the “Science of Life” is an ancient healing system from India. For “female problems” it offers basic information on proper self care during the times when women’s bodies are vulnerable. Suitable diet, digestion & herbs for the woman can support the nervous system for better resilience under stress, as well as directly feed the reproductive system. Pulse reading tunes in to the subtle, early conditions of imbalance and allows for treatment in subtle ways before they solidify into denser forms, such as cysts, fibroids, or endometriosis. With more advanced problems healing may require more time and stronger therapies. Through various techniques & teachings, Ayurvedic work heals deeply.

Maya Abdominal Massage offers great relief for many women, sometimes bringing menstrual relief after only one therapy session. Self massage techniques are taught to do regularly, between sessions. This adds impetus for better uterine positioning, greater circulation, lymphatic cleansing, and optimization of herbal therapies and the body’s own hormonal messages. Maya Massage also helps release traumas and emotions stored in the pelvic-abdominal region that may restrict healthy flow & function.

Through such holistic techniques “female problems” need not be part of the legacy of women’s greater role in the world.
--by Terra Rafael

A Menopausal Story

She had been going through the Change. Her body, always a well-known friend, now sometimes left her disappointed. First, more frequent periods left her anemic, her cells slowly dying for lack of oxygen. Then regular cycles became a thing of the past, so she always had to arm herself with tampons. Eventually cycles slowed to rare events, finally never to return.

Meanwhile her skin loosened, her hair grayed and thinned and her middle expanded. She’d never had to worry about weight before but now her size had grown just when she most wanted to hide away, like a shy adolescent.

Her daughter gave her encouragement. “Mom, why don’t you explore your new body, your new options? Who are you now? A butterfly, might be confused because she isn’t a caterpillar anymore. Test your new ways to move in the world, your new ways to nourish yourself. Now you can drink nectar from flowers instead of eating leaves.”

And so she did.
--by Terra Rafael

Caring for Our Core - Part One

Our belly is where we begin—the umbilicus was our original root to nourishment from Mother. This area continues to nourish us physically, emotionally, & energetically throughout our lives—when it is free to do its work. When the area is constricted by the uterus being out of place and/or stored tensions, this work does not happen properly. When the constrictions are released we are freer to have belly laughs and feel our gut reactions—as well as avoiding many discomforts & female complaints, such as menstrual cramps & irregularities & fertility problems.

I experienced first hand that these techniques work to move the uterus. My uterus had been sitting low in my yoni for some time—it had to be scooped up to see the cervix when doing a speculum self exam. When I received the massage from traditional Maya healer, Miss Beatrice, I felt my uterus move!! It’s a unique sensation. After having the massage done on me & practicing self massage for a couple of days I checked my cervical position and it had risen up. My next moon time was absolutely free of cramping and in subsequent cycles my blood remained fresh—no brown blood came out at the beginning or end as I HAD thought was normal. (The old, brown blood indicates that the uterus is not releasing all the blood from each period and there is an unhealthy build-up inside.)

Then I was blessed to attend two incredible workshops taught by Rosita Arvigo: Self Care & Professional training in the Arvigo Techniques of Maya Abdominal/Uterine Massage. Her teacher Don Elijio Ponti gave her permission to share what he had taught her to her American people, to help us care for our cores. Rosita had apprenticed with him for 12 years in Belize. She has integrated his teachings with American knowledge of anatomy & physiology; the work of Wilhelm Reich on energy bands; and her training in napropathy (a form of chiropractic which includes graduate level massage training).

At the Professional training we learned also techniques for the upper abdomen. This helps to loosen tight diaphragms and increases circulation, digestion and the ability to breathe deeply. Tightening here can be a way to store old unspoken & unresolved traumas in our body. By gentle work these can be healed. I personally experienced a deep healing with upper abdominal & other techniques regarding past sexual abuse. With the prayers and support of my Arvigo therapists I was able to release some very old yucky stuff from my body in a safe & simple way.

The techniques for pregnant women are specially designed for gentle support of the growing uterus, allowing it to go from the usual 4 oz of weight to about 15 lbs while staying in its physiological position. The increased blood flow, lymph drainage & nerve & energy flows allows for optimum growth of the baby and function of the uterus in labor. By properly position, the uterus can “aim” the baby out most easily. There are also special techniques reserved to use at 38 weeks to be sure the body is primed for labor. Practitioners report less incidence of overdue labors on women regularly receiving this technique. Also reported were successes with breech babies moving head down when the uterus is properly positioned.

I’m excited to include this work as part of my healing practice & look forward to serving you & your friends with these ways to enhance your health & happiness.

Menstrual Memories - Part 3- The Menopausal Transition

My moons had been quite regular, about 28 days apart and lasted about 5 days, medium the first three days and light the others. (To me medium means I change my pad 3-4 times a day and light is 1-2 times). Frequently I marked ahead in my calendar when my moon bloods were expected to appear. It felt comforting to include it more as part of my life plan, to honor my fertility and myself. I kept track of my moon cycles on moon calendars and have them back for about 10 years.

My moon times began to come closer together & less regularly as my late 40’s progressed. Sometimes instead of PMS I seemed to get post menstrual syndrome of feeling down. I never knew when it would hit. There were times when my estrogen was supercharged, my body busy trying hard to get pregnant. This got the blood going because the lining was extra thick -- and also the fertile mucus at ovulation time. Once, I remember sitting on the toilet and when I went to wipe seeing a long thick thread of fertile mucus that stretched from my bottom to the water. Now I know that by knowing when I ovulate I could have know my moonblood would appear about 14 days later. Women are internally consistent on their time between ovulation and bleeding, for the most part. That too becomes a bit more wobbly during the menopausal transition.

Then around becoming 50 years old my moonbloods spaced out and became lighter. Sometimes I didn't have fertile mucus and would have anovulatory bleed. At that point I suddenly realized that I wouldn’t always have my period. I had finally embraced my moonbloods as a big part of my womanhood, counter to society’s norm. Now I had to let go it again. I began to wonder each time if this were my last time to bleed and savored the bloodiness of it. I even used it to paint several designs. Sometimes there were phantom periods where I felt like I was getting my bloods. Nothing came out but my sensations and emotions were very menstrual. Then it became six months between bleeds and my final moonblood was in April, 2005. I was 52, the average age for menopause. Of course I didn’t know for another year if I was totally done.

The hormones seem to be settling down now. I've learned from Susan Weed, herbalist, that after the period stops the hromones take several years to toally settle into the final levels of cronehood. My body is changing. The skin on my hands seems thinner and less elastic. More skin tags are appearing as my estrogen drops suddenly now and then. So far my libido and yoni haven’t suffered. I’m 55 now.

The hot flashes are few and far between at this point – maybe days between now. They were never too troublesome for me—just a bit of disrobing when the heat came and then redressing when they passed. The hardest part of hot flashes for me is that getting too hot can trigger them. Whenever I cuddled with my sweet husband I would get too hot and have a hot flash and have to push away from him. Thats gotten better at this point. Herbs did help me through —shatavari root, an ayurvedic female tonic and taking Oregon grape root tincture about 5 days a month before menses or, when I stopped cycling, 5 days a month near the full moon.


All in all there was much emotion, experience and meaning that came through my moonbloods. I treasure my memories and learnings about womanhood that came through them, even though sometimes they seemed like a curse and society still insists it is.

My adventures with plants- Cronewort

Green eyes. When did my eyes turn green? Maybe after I bonded with the plants, entering into their slow and generous world.

That day in Ann Drucker's herb class was the taproot. We spent the day on the plains, in the WishGarden Herbs garden. It was an unusually misty, wet day for Colorado. On my way there I'd wondered if I'd end up going home early -- I hate cold wetness to my bone. Yet as we entered into the plant world by singing and opening our awareness, the water and cloudy coolness became nurturing respite from the usual burning Colorado sun.

The plant species each had their own personality. At first I chose Motherwort, wanting some mother wisdom about my children. I sat down next to her. Burying next to her a bit of herb from my garden as an offering. Asking her if I might receive a teaching from her.

As I listened inwardly, she squawked at me like a tired mother, bothered yet again by a thoughtless child. "You don't belong with me. Go to Cronewort with your questions. Leave me alone."

Taken aback, she was true to her prickley seed pods, setting her limits with a bit of a poke. "OK, I hear you. Sorry I bothered you."

I crawled a few yards through the muddy paths around the plants until I found Cronewort. Some know her as Mugwort. She was truly regal. Almost as tall as I was when I stand on my feet. But I kneeled in front of her, offering my herb and my song.
"Sacred Cronewort, hear my song. Make my way sacred, fill me with wisdom.
Sacred Cronewort, hear my song. Make my way sacred, fill me with beauty.
Fill me with wisdom, that I may bring others wisdom.
Fill me with beauty, that I may bring others beauty."
I asked to partake of her leaves and her wisdom. She nodded her head in the moist wind. I beheld her physical form, jagged leaves shadowed with silvery green, watching for the leaves that were offering themselves to me. When I saw them, I gently removed them from her branch and clutched them to my heart in thanks. Then I took them into my mouth, chewing slowly, tasting her leaf juices mingled with my juices. I sat still in the misty rain.

As I sat the rain would change her song, falling with a deeper tone with larger drops, then more staccato, then leaving a misty space of quiet rest between.

The essence of cronewort juice rose to my head. I felt that regal sense agian, now inside of me, and knew yet another name for her-- Crownwort. I felt she had crowned me with the beginning of my cronehood, the sensation of a royal crown on my head. I felt my shushumna, the energetic spine, fill and glow and my crown chakra awaken by her powers, just as I had felt it happen before by chanting sacred words or being in the presence of saints. I sat still in the misty rain.

The honor and peace of Cronewort's initiation of me smoothed my way into my menopausal years.

Menopausal Musings

I notice my reflection in the mirror. It has changed over the years, but especially in the last 5 years. The post-menopausal effects of less estrogen are revealing themselves.

My skin, my physical interface with the outer environment, is less elastic, a bit thinner, and more friable. Little “owies” seem to happen more easily. More skin tags, dark, rough liver spots and red petechiae dots form new constellations visible on the universe of my body. In the middle of my throat is one large, dark mole. Sometimes I notice people’s eyes wandering down to it as they talk with me.

The skin on my face begins to sag. Sometimes I pull it up with my fingers, along the angle of my jaw line, to see my younger look. This is why some women go for cosmetic surgery.

Then there are the dark circles under my eyes. They’ve been there for decades, after years of interrupted sleep as a mom, midwife, and then, insomniac. Yet I still keep hoping to find out how to help them diminish. I’ve taken rejuvenative herbs for my adrenals. I’ve cut out gluten. I’m sleeping better most nights now. My grandma did say we had gypsy blood and it might be a hereditary tendency. I’ve even been tempted by chemicalized cosmetics that swear that they reduce dark circles. When I applied some I noticed that it irritated. My eyes teared up. It was so unpleasant I couldn’t even continue it long enough to see if it worked. Still, I wonder if the more expensive version of the cream is better—but it is over $100 a jar.

Is aging a war to be fought or an adventure to be lived?

Secrets of the Uterus, part one-a croning

This very moment my uterus is shrinking. So slowly to be imperceptible, yet, yes. She is declining in her size. No longer fertile on a physical plane, her energy is becoming more subtle and fluid. The wisewoman nectar that is not lost in blood each month returns, instead, returns to enhance my ability to give birth to myself, be it through words, planting my garden, cooking for my family, or gentle, peaceful caress.

Sometimes this transformation heats me with its flame. The physical is slowly consumed and the subtle is expanding, billowing. Will it kill me? Will I eventually disappear in this blaze? Of course. Yet what a fire works display I might reveal in the meanwhile.

Create I must and carefully choose it--elsewise that nectar can as equally create a sour and bitter old lady, regretful of the past, depressed in the present and empty of future. Just as I chose to give birth or abort my physical babies I now must take responsibility for this creative power on an even deeper level. Yes, I must continue to choose.